Dear Guy,
You’re really starting to piss me off. First, you come up with Alltop. And THEN you kindly allow me to start my very own website that’s a total knock off. And you’re even nice about it. You’ve taken the time here and there to “tweet” us, which has upped our daily page views by a mere Gabillion percent on those days, and, I’m sure, has brought us new members.
But what’s really starting to irk me, or chap my ass (as AnyMommywould say), or get my goat, is the fact that you keep STEALING my bloggie friends. RIGHT. OUT. FROM. UNDER. ME.
First it was …and hijinks ensued, Good & Crazy People and Balancing Insanity. Then it was Send Chocolate. And NOW you’ve really done it. You’ve stolen my new friend, Merlot Mom. That pushed me RIGHT OVER THE EDGE.
I was so looking forward to sharing her stories of pimping her house out to Best Buy and the antics of her crazy puppy. She even participated in my One Word Meme Challenge. The AllMediocre Shout Out was going to be heavy with Merlot Mom stories this week.
But you’ve gone and ruined that for EVERYONE. Now I’m never going to be able to share Merlot Mom with the world because you’ve gone and added her to Alltop and as AllMediocre guidelines clearly state, you can’t be a member of both Alltop & AllMediocre.
So, I had to kick her out. And she thinks I’m going to be mad at HER about it. But I’m not. I blame it solely on you and you will have to face my wrath. Watch out Guy. I’m going to be in your neck of the woods next week and I’ve got it out for you. I know where to find you.
Now, I understand that the WHOLE POINT of AllMediocre was to up our member’s numbers and status and yadda yadda yadda get them onto Alltop, and that it’s not all about me. But, whatever. That whole strategy has gone out the window because I’ve developed a bit of a soft spot for “my” blogs and I hate to see them go. It makes me a bit sad each time I get an email kindly explaining that they’re leaving “my” loser ass in the dust and hitting the big time with you and Alltop. And I know it’s not personal. I know it has nothing to do with ME, but I still feel a little, well, sad to see them go.
But, I know you’ll take care of them. I know you’ll love them, honor them, and cherish them as much as I do. And you’ll give them the recognition they deserve. Because they’re awesome. And they deserve for everyone to know that too.
So, for now, I suppose I’ll let go of my anger towards you and support you in your efforts to support them. But just know…if you so even think of stealing AnyMommy, Z, MeL, Amy or, actually, any of them, I will track you down and…well, probably nothing because they’re awesome and I might as well come to terms with the fact that you’re going to steal them away from me someday anyway.
To make it up to me, could you PLEASE give a shout out to the Great AllMediocre Giveaway of ’08?! I know it’s not an IPod Touch, but it’s something! Remember, we’re the land of Mediocre…
K, thanks. You’re a peach.
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Watch it. Next thing you know he’ll throw you into Alltop and then where will you be?
F*cked. That’s where.
Jenny, Bloggess & Bad Moms last blog post..FatSuck 2008!
I like that you said F*cked. As if Fuck is a bad word around my blog. Vagina.
Okay, so are you going to the Alltop/Kirtsy party? Regardless, I hope I get to meet you at The People’s Party. Penis.
(ohandI’msorrybutIamnowonalltop).
Ohhh, I feel so loved and so f*cked at the same time…Had I known you had such big plans for me I would have stayed a bit longer (like waiting for the Xmas bonus before hightailing it out of a shitty job)…Now I’m the bitty fish in the gigundo pond and no one’s gonna give me shout outs like you (i’m assuming). Oh, if only I could turn back time…But, as you already know, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT! Where’s that wine?! Love ya, babe. Never change. Stay as sweet as you are. Toodles. Hello? Are you still there?
merlotmoms last blog post..Validation for Bloggers from a Queen Bee
Why don’t you make an “I graduated from AllMediocre” button thingy people can put on their blogs – so even though they aren’t mediocre anymore, they still can show that they have been there?
Christine-
You Bitch. Just kidding. Now I need to kick you off too? Sheesh? I really AM getting sick of this! Guy is back on my list.
And yes, I AM going to the Kirtsy/Alltop party! Yay!
Great Idea Grandmaother…we’re working on some right now!
Merlot Mom-
I’m still here! I’m still here! And don’t tempt me. One of these days I WILL drive down and bring a bottle (or two) of wine with me. Just. You. Wait.
Girl, I get all excited and squirm in my computer chair when you pop up with a new post in my reader and I’m never disappointed. This is hilarious. If I were Guy K., I’d be hiding under my twitterer or lap top or something.
All I can say about Merlot Mom and Send Chocolate is that they are awesome (oh, and your little idea is totally working!! how cool is that!!).
While I am tickled pink (the opposite of a chapped ass) that you would mention me, let alone with such sweet thoughts, I am sad to say that the Bloggess has it right. You are the one movin on up and then what? Is there any thing in the rules about RUNNING AM from Alltop. Just don’t sign a non-compete!
anymommys last blog post..Disruption – A Failed Mom’s Look Back
That sucks.
No, wait, That’s great.
Shit. It’s both, kinda.
What Jenny said.
What are the rest of us going to do when you graduate?
Headless Moms last blog post..100 Pushups- Week 3 Day 3
You wanna hear insult to injury? Not only am I unable to attend BlogHer (due to a poorly planned vacation) where I would no doubt be sitting at the kids’ table rather than schmoozing at the Alltop/AllMediocre Love Fest Hospitality Suite.
But I’m also the one that tagged Merlot Mom for that meme!
Manic Mommy: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride.
Manic Mommys last blog post..Scenes (to and) from an Italian Restaurant
Too funny. We can still talk to MerlotMom at BlogHer though, right? Or maybe I should check if she can still talk to us?
Mediocre is the new black – the black of mourning.
Amy in Ohios last blog post..I’m blogher Bound!
um…why do i get the feeling that he is just sitting there watching you do all the work for him??
it’s kinda like he said – go for it…do allmediocre…(and i’ll just sit back and watch the numbers through you and take who(m) i please…)
or am i sorely mistaken on how it works??
don’t worry…there is really no potential to lose me! (yes, you are allowed to roll your eyes on that one.)
jens last blog post..mama guilt
what everybody said.
Madges last blog post..Men I Love – Part 1
I have been slowly working my way through the Mediocre blogs and hadn’t gotten to “m” yet, darn it. Now I’m going to feel so not Mediocre when I start reading Merlot Mom.
If he takes Anymommy or Amy I might cry. Worse…what’s going to happen when he steals you. Ack!
Congrats to Merlot Mom for leaving the rest of us in the dust.
Insta-Moms last blog post..For my Eldest
Glad I’m not the only one on the drama wagon. Good ole Alltop versus AM.
I still get more hits from AM than Alltop? Go figure!
Not going to Blogher…so to everyone..big air kisses from me!
good&crazys last blog post..Yee-Haw!
You are hilarious. That was a great letter! I’m just getting to know all you guys by going through AllMediocre (BTW, I emailed to join yesterday and can’t wait!!!). What a fun bunch! OK, now I’m ready to really jump in and comment my butt off on your great blogs! Look out for me, Blogesses…
Poor Guy must be so sorry he responded to your first email. Any word on his restraining order yet?
First off I’d hate to have you mad at me.
Secondly, I’m glad you’ve given me a little mediocre home. I’m not going anywhere.
Renees last blog post..Good Parenting or Enabling
OMG. You are hilarious. Discovered you through AmyinOhio. So, because I am on AllTop, does this mean Amy and I need to rumble? She is a tough cookie and I think she might be able to take me.
I’ll def. be adding you to my blogroll!!
Shannanb aka Mommy Bitss last blog post..Birthday Insanity
AnyMommy-
Dude. I probably just shot myself in the foot, because I’m pretty sure Guy’s going to see this post, and then, just to spite me, add everyone I mentioned to Alltop. And then my head will explode.
And, for the record, you won’t find my name on Alltop anytime soon. Even if I somehow make the list, I will respectfully decline. I’m too invested in AM…
ManicMommy…you’re on my list for this weekend’s AM shoutouts…
And you’d TOTALLY be schmoozing with me because I’d track you down and take you with me.
Next year?!
Good & Crazy,
Still? Too funny. Glad we can be of service. And since I’ve heard lately that a little Bloggy “feud” can only be good for your ratings, I’m totally jumping on the feud train.
Hi Anastasia,
Thanks for stopping by here and for joining AM. The point was to make it FUN to blog, hopefully that’s working for everyone!
So of course my first thought was apparently the same one everyone else had. What makes you think that you won’t be the next to go – and then what happends to AllMediocre? Will you choose a successor? Or do you have some sort of understanding with AllTop that you can’t be listed regardless of how wildly popular you are? Either way – I’ve been enjoying my first few days as part of this group. AND so happy to see my friend Anastasia is joining us!
Kates last blog post..More Star Wars Underwear, an Entire Chocolate Chip Pound Cake and Various and Sundry Extras
I feel loved, and yet… and just so’s you know, i wasn’t invited to the All-Top party or the All-Mediocre party. So see? You think I am All-Top and they think I am All-Mediocre and I have no where to drink at Blogher. what the hell? Oh, and testicles.
T.
TLC@SendChocolates last blog post..The One Where I Write The Words Pt. 1
I’ve got something for you over at my place
Tootsie Farklepantss last blog post..She’s Done a Great Deal of Linking but I Think the Finger can be Saved
Kate- I haven’t made any agreement with Alltop, but at this point I really have no desire to be listed. I like my Mediocre family too much and have WAY too much time invested into AM to want to make the switch. Not that they’ve asked/offered.
:0)
Glad you’re enjoying AllMediocre!
There’s NO AllMediocre Party…although if there were, you’d totally be on the invite list. And, because I’d have $.37 to spend on it, it would be a pretty small invite list and BYOB.
Maybe next year? I suppose I could start hitting up sponsors now! :0)
And I only got an invite to the Alltop party because Guy took pity on me. But I’m sure after this post, he’ll rescind his invite.
You guys totally crack me up. I only wish to be so witty. I think I’ll be sticking around All Mediocre for a while, but I LOVE IT! so who cares if I’m never All-Top like the “bigwigs” (sniff, sniff in the background). Seriously, I’m loving All Mediocre and just wish I had more hours in the day to get through the entire blogroll and all the fabulous posts.
Meghan, I’m heading over to add the AM Giveaway button to my site…..
PsychMammas last blog post..Giveaway
You cracked me up…AGAIN!
dysfunctional moms last blog post..This Weekend’s Adventure
i just asked to become mediocre, and already i’m loving this community. seriously? what an awesome idea. you must be so proud of your fledglings, even if you do miss them when they leave the nest.
i suspect if you let me join i’ll be a hanger-on for quite some time. especially since i’d never even heard of alltop until earlier tonight…
Laras last blog post..In Honor of My Mother
Here’s the thing. You will NEVER be able to get rid of me… NEVER!!!
Because I’ve developed this devious plan. If I ever make it to AllTop (which, um, not likely. But whatever. Hypothetical scenario) – I’ll either stalk Guy Kawasaki and subject him to my karaoke til he removes me (that’ll make him fold really quickly)… Or going the opposite direction, I’ll take my puppy along and use him to charm him with his adorable puppiness (he’s got a great little sad face I’ll use to my advantage)… Or something. Nefarious-Plans-R-Us – yes, I’ll come up with something
Of course, Jenny does have a good point – what happens if we lose YOU?!?!
Zs last blog post..Interlude
Shannan- Thanks for stopping by! No, Alltop’ers and AllMediocre’rs are bound by code to get along…it’s me & Guy who are going to rumble…
Z-
Dude…gon’t get me started. I’m trying tocome up with some sort of AWESOME prize for the first person who turns down an Alltop add…like a trip to Tahiti. Or Starbucks or something.
:0)
Thanks, PsychMamma! I’m starting to think that Alltop’s not all it’s cracked up to be..seems like AM has a much better sense of community & we (from what I hear) refer more people to our Member’s sites anyway! So, Yay!
:0)
It is like he is just picking them off one by one. You have to kick his ass at BlogHer. My money is on you.
HRHs last blog post..Holly and the Aquaskipper…
Meghan. Don’t worry! You will always have me and my 2.4 readers.
Just promise you will always be there to look after me.
Inzaburbss last blog post..Notes on Operation Park
Uh-ohs. I kind of wish I’d read this BEFORE I allowed them to add me to Alltop. I only stopped by to find an email address to let you know, since you were partying it up (and yes, I’ve seen the pics) at BlogHer when I shared that at AM.
I really, really like the idea above about some bling to celebrate having belonged to AM – please let us know when that’s available.
And I have a question, if I don’t like the kids at Alltop, can I renounce it and come back? I’ve been having such a good time with you all and I still plan to be a regular visitor!
Mauras last blog post..Food Network Haiku
HAHAHA!!! That’s funny.
180/360s last blog post..BlogWhore 2008 ~ Inaugural Badness