Dinner Party Debacle

We had friends over a few weeks ago. For dinner. It was the first time we’d ever had them over for dinner. You see, we don’t socialize much. Mostly because we’re lazy. But also because my husband isn’t big on entertaining and making small talk. Especially if it’s people he doesn’t know very well.

So really I should clarify that first sentence and say: We had MY friends over a few weeks ago.

And much to my surprise, the social part of the evening went really well! My husband and my girlfriend’s husband got along well. They had stuff to talk about. The beers might have helped, but I’m okay with that. Whatever works, right?

MY part of the evening, however? The dinner part? Was kind of a mess. Which was a major bummer for me, because I love to cook for people and entertain, which isn’t something I get to do very often. So I had GRAND PLANS, people. GRAND ONES. Big. Huge. (Name that movie!)

I planned the menu very carefully. It was the beginning of October and was supposed to be a cool day. So I thought I’d try out this Smoky Chicken and Cranberry Pasta, salad, garlic bread and, for the big finish, Apple Pie.

I started the pie at about 3pm.  Our guests were supposed to arrive at 5:30pm, so I figured that would be a good time to have my house smelling of apple pie when they walked in the door.  It went well.  Until I got to the very last step and turned the oven to “broil” to caramelize the top.  Within SECONDS that fucker was on fire.  FIRE!

So I spent the next 15 minutes trying desperately to pick off the charred crust.  That was awesome.

Next, I almost forgot to add the CHICKEN to the chicken pasta.  But I remembered just in time.  I blame the chatting and wine for that little faux paus.

Then, I needed to get my big pasta serving bowl.  Which required shifting one of the toys that was sitting on top of the fridge.  Which I then forgot to move it back into place.  So the next time I opened the door of the refrigerator, a huge plastic vessel of death fell on my head.  In front of everyone.

Later, the massive glass bottle of pre-mixed margaritas fell out of the fridge and landed on my toe.  And then shattered. In an attempt go get it cleaned up as quickly as possible, I just threw the remains of the bottle into the sink.

*dun dun dun*

We then ate dessert.  The burnt pie was okay, except for the charred taste and the fact that I think I either

a) cut the apples too thick

b) didn’t cook it long enough

c) had too many apples in the pie

d) all of the above

Because the damn thing was still crunchy.

I put the dishes into the sink and swung my hand over to get some soap. AND?  You guessed it.  I sliced my finger open on the broken margarita bottle.

After cleaning it up and putting on a bandaid, I poured myself another glass of wine and decided that maybe I should stick to my hermit lifestyle.  It might be safer.

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Tagged as: cooking, dinner parties, FAIL, grown up stuff, recipes