Raising Boys

by Meghan on July 11, 2011

*Disclaimer – This is a quintessential “Mommy Blog” post…proceed with caution.

I knew when I found out that I was going to have boys that I was destined for a life of boy humor. I have recently found myself IMMERSED in it and I am…displeased.

Never in my life have I known people who have found such enjoyment in the words “poop,” “fart,” “wiener,” “butt” and “penis.” I hear them constantly. Alone and in combinations. Zachary’s favorite thing to say lately is “wiener-butt.”

I’ve even had to enact a “No bathroom words at the dinner table” rule.

They have burping contests to see who can burp the loudest and the longest. Then they follow it up with “Did you hear that?!” a la Buddy the Elf. Followed eventually by an “Excuse me.” Hopefully.

Dylan has burped so loud in public a few times that I’ve been completely embarrassed. He can’t understand why that’s something he shouldn’t do in public. How do you explain to a 6 year old boy that not everyone wants to hear him burp? Because it’s simply incomprehensible to him.

The real kicker came the other night, though. Dylan looked at Zach and said “Zach, next time I fart, put your face on my butt.”

And Zach said he would. And then later, he DID.

A piece of me died that night.

And this is only the beginning.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

sara@TomTheGirl July 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

in my house, the girls outnumber the boys, 2:1. and still, daddy has taught my sweet little girl to pull his finger, and yell “TOOT!” at the top of her lungs when she lets out…well…a toot! so sadly, it isn’t just the boys that give you farts and burps and the like. my little girl will probably one day ask some other little child to put his/her face in her butt when she toots. and i’ll be writing this exact same post.
gawd help us.
sara@TomTheGirl´s last [type] ..Smartie Pants makes Cents

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Beth July 11, 2011 at 7:35 pm

I’m glad to see it is completely normal behavior. My kids’ favorite word by far is poop. And why is poop the funniest word they have ever heard?
Beth´s last [type] ..Meatless Monday and Wondering About CSAs.

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MomEinstein July 12, 2011 at 7:44 am

HAHAHA weiner-butt.

I feel like the hardest part of all this would be keeping a straight face when they do things like that. I have such a juvenile sense of humor that I would have to leave the room so they didn’t see me laugh.
MomEinstein´s last [type] ..How Technology Improves Parenting

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Kim July 12, 2011 at 3:23 pm

If it makes you feel any better, my son does this with his sisters. No one is immune from potty humor. I die inside when my baby girl smells her brother’s farts and laughs. *sigh*
Kim´s last [type] ..Foggy

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Mama B July 13, 2011 at 9:40 am

Trust me, having a girl doesn’t necessarily change things. My princess can out-burp and out-fart her brother any day. And she’s quite proud of it, even if we don’t encourage it.
Mama B´s last [type] ..Summer Eating

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Adrienne July 14, 2011 at 9:09 am

Surprise them one day with a burp of your own. You will become Mom of the Centruy
Adrienne´s last [type] ..Twizzle Me This

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Dani January 24, 2012 at 7:54 am

Adrienne, I am definitely going to do this with my boys! That’s hilarious! (Although, I might regret it later as they see it as me condoning this behavior) But I’ll do almost anything for a laugh out of my guys.

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Cayla @ Smoke Free City July 18, 2011 at 3:12 am

hahaha sounds hilarious! Give them their own dose of medicine!lols I had really a good laugh on your post remembering my boys when they burp on one fine dining that really caught many people attention.
Cayla @ Smoke Free City´s last [type] ..Blu Cigs

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Shannon October 18, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I love this post. As a mom of a 4 YO and 2 YO boys I am just entering the disgusting stage of life I think. My boys giggle up a storm whenever they pass gas, and then yell at the top of their lungs “EXCUSE ME PIGGY!!”. The other night my 2 YO was following me around with his head basically in my rear end for almost 40 minutes while I puttered around the house. His dad, being nasty by genetic makeup, tells him that he better move because if Mommy toots it will not be a good thing for him. At about that moment I had a toot sneak out and it was pretty gross. My poor baby looked at me like I was the coolest person in the world and then told me “Excuse you Piggy” and that I stink. I had to try not to die laughing, but now he doesn’t follow me around like that so maybe it was a good thing to happen.

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Alexandria October 18, 2011 at 5:33 pm

put your face on my butt. LOL!

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Katherine November 12, 2011 at 12:22 pm

You’re scaring me.

My boy is only two months old. How do I keep him from ever learning those words? LOL

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Meghan November 12, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Katherine- It’s not possible. Just start preparing now and you’ll be fine. Probably.

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Dani January 24, 2012 at 8:00 am

My boy is six months old, and he’s thinks that poopyface is the funniest word ever! My husband and I thought maybe it was the ‘p’ sound he liked, so we tried shouting all kinds of random ‘p’ words at him: Pizza! Potpourri! Pontificate! Pants! He didn’t even crack a smile. Then we yelled Poopyface! and he cracked this big toothless grin and giggled. Btw, I think my husband started even using the word poopyface, so maybe its the dad’s fault.

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